Will you marry us Please?

I need a wife.

This is the only conclusion I could come to after much contemplation {and beer}.

I am not domesticated. AT.ALL.

I hate cleaning...the house looks good but don't open a closet.

I hate cooking...most of my meals come in a box

I hate laundry...again, don't open the closet door

I hate the 'wife' expectations.

I work longer hours than Mr. Wonderful. He gets home from work earlier than me 80% of the time. He sits on the couch surfing Craigs List looking for the perfect Suburban for the motor sitting in my shed. The Kid is eating cookies and watching cartoons.

I am expected to start dinner, tidy up, prepare lunches/backpacks, serve dinner, clean up after dinner, bath the child, get him ready for bed, read bedtime stories etc. Then I have to take care of the household running- paying bills and whatever else comes up.

Mr. Wonderful goes back to surfing Craigs List.

I need someone who LIKES to do all that stuff so *I* can sit on the couch and surf the internet too. I would do all the fun things like playing with my kid. I might even have the time and energy to shave my legs, wax my eyebrows and shower.

Hubby appears to like the idea too as he seems to think he might get sex on a more regular basis from someone who might actually be awake. :)

I would have someone to girl-talk with. Sitting on the couch in the clean living room, drinking tea and chatting late into the evening.

I'm not the jealous type. I could handle it. I would embrace it.

Now where would I find such a wondeful woman? And how would I have to pay her?