Wednesday, March 4, 2009

From the Mouth of Babes

I love my child but there are times when I wish I had never taught the little buggar to speak.

I went to go pick up Mr. I-Got-All-Dat-And-A-Pack-Of-Gum from daycare today. I am in my usual discombobulated state of mind, thinking about a million things at once and I trip over my kid in the class foyer. Kidlet is fine but my bag goes flying through the air, twisting upside down and everything inside comes crashing to the ground.

We're talking pens, coins, random pieces of gum, receipts, car keys, work keys, granola bar, lighter, today's mail, notepad, McDonalds toy {hey it's a big bag} and worst of all.......tampons. Ya, I said it.. I'll say it again TAMPONS!! {oooh I bet my mom just got a cold shiver down her spine and she can't figure out this day I have never heard her say 'tampon'}

So ya, my life is rolling around on the floor and I am nonchalantly trying to pick up all the odds and ends {keep in mind, there are parents everywhere picking up their kids} and my child, Bless his heart, seeing a tampon rolling across the floor, tries to be a helpful boy for mommy and proceeds to start chasing the escaping tampon across the floor yelling at the top of his lungs..

"Mommy!!! Your Bum-sticker is rolling away! I'll get it for you!!!"

The world stands still, everybody stops, turns and stares...... AT ME!

I'm sure I turned 23 shades of red and fervently wished for a natural disaster to occur..{nothing better to deflect attention than an earthquake right?} It is quiet enough to hear a kid fart in the next room. Through clenched teeth I quietly thanked Little J for being oh-so helpful and encouraged him to hurry up out the door.

I did not look back after the door hit me on the ass on my way out. I don't think I could bear the sight of all the 'cool moms' sniggering behind their perfectly manicured hands.

I hope they go home tonight and have to tell an inquisitive child what a 'bum-sticker' might be. *evil laugh*

Is 4.5yrs too young to drop them off at the curb in the morning??


  1. You poor, poor girl! I'm sorry but I'm laughing at you right now! This is funny stuff!

  2. Bum-sticker! That is awesome.

  3. Hilarious! I know I'm not suppose to laugh, so just don't look at me 'cause I am snickering up a storm. Your bum-sticker. HAHAHAHAHAH.

  4. Now that a full 24hrs have passed I can laugh at it too :)

    Am I a chicken-shit for making hubby pick up today? tee hee