Friday, April 2, 2010


Woke up this morning to the sound of Little J barfing in the hallway. Poor kid didn't make it to the bathroom in time but he sure tried, bless his little heart.

I have issues with barf. Seeing barf, hearing barf, smelling barf and even thinking about barf makes me dry heave and gag.

So there we are, little J lying on the hallway floor barfing and me trying vainly to clean it up without barfing myself.

Not the best way to start Good Friday but he still wants to colour Easter eggs so he can't be feeling that bad right?

Going to be interesting showing up for family dinner today with our very own barf-bucket :)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

About Last Night

Dear Ass-hat

You are lucky that I need your pay cheque to pay the bills because you came
this.close to being smothered by a pillow last night for the following reasons.

1. Your snoring. Good grief! The sounds produced by your 'breathing' could inspire
another Exorcist movie. How does a human being even produce such demonic sounds? It is so loud and obnoxious that you wake yourself up then you scratch your ass, roll over and promptly start snoring again. You snore so loudly that you have startled the damn dog who sleeps in an entirely different room. You suck.

2. Your farting. The smell emanating from your nether regions could choke a maggot. Seriously, you should get that checked out. You smell like rancid monkey poo. Must I sleep with a gas mask too?

3. Your bed hogging. You are not a big man. You should be perfectly fine on your half of the bed. I already share MY half with the 2 cats and that's ok because they are warm, fuzzy, purr and sleep around me. You however, do not. You instead roll over on me, smothering me and making my limbs fall asleep. You refuse to move even after many hissed "get the hell off Me's", vicious pokes, pinches and punches. What the hell is wrong with you??

And you wonder why I am so cranky??

Monday, March 29, 2010

Why is this so damn hard?

I hate Little J's teacher for insisting that something is wrong with him. (Even if she may be right)

I hate our medical system that sends me running in circles.

I hate doctors who are quick to prescribe a pill without actually evaluating the patient.

I hate 12 month waiting lists for testing and therapy.

I hate that I have to even figure all of this out.

I hate that I feel like I've failed my child.

I hate not having all the answers.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Dear Crazy People

So there is a gym right beside my work. I drive by it twice a day. It's always packed. It's open when I leave work at 10:30pm and it's open when I get to work at
6am. I will admit to a momentary crazy thought of "Gee, I should get back to the gym" and then I start laughing and end up coughing up a lung.

What kind of crazy people work out at 6am?? How dedicated must one be to drag themselves out of bed so insanely early, punish their bodies for an hour and then put in a full day of work. What kind of drugs are they one? I can barely get through my work day before needing a nap.

Back in the day when I was young and actually had time and energy to care about what I looked liked, I did go to the gym. Several of them in fact.

My first experience was Golds Gym. Full of steroid monkeys and perfect plastic barbie dolls prancing round in teeny tiny spandex with not a glimmer of sweat. I however, wore my brother's sweats, hair in ponytail and no make-up. I sweat like a greased pig. I had no idea people didn't go to the gym to exercise but instead to find their next Friday night hook up. My room mate at the time was very fit and was a certified aerobics instructor and convinced me to take one of her classes. So there I am in a big baggy sweatshirt and my scrawny chicken legs clad in black spandex. Not my best look. I apparently have zero coordination and zero rhythm. I was usually 3 moves behind and looked more like a seizing monkey than a cool chick exercising. So, me not looking like a perfect plastic barbie doll only lasted about 3 weeks before quitting.

My next attempt started out good, Just Ladies Fitness. Nuthin but ladies and it was right beside my work. I could work out and keep an eye on the restaurant at the same time. I convinced another employee to join with me so I had some motivation to go. And yes, we would go at 6am, I was her ride so I HAD to get up and go. Clever of me huh...
I actually enjoyed it for a while but would have been much happier if I could have smoked while riding the exercise bike. (crazy, I know but I've got pretty good cardio for a smoker). I then decided to try circuit training. That my friends, was my downfall. The day I had to follow grandma on the circuit proved that the gym was no place for me. How sad is it that me, a 26 year old, had to adjust the weights DOWN to use a machine after a 70 year old woman. Not only did I have to drop the weight, I could only go half the reps. My self esteem couldn't handle it.

So kudo's to you who manage to go to the gym and workout while normal people are either sleeping or having sex. I applaud and admire your commitment and motivation and I salute you with a smoke in one hand and my 1000 calorie Starbucks Frappe in the other.

But please do me a favour....park around the back so I don't see your car. I don't need the reminder of how much I suck at 6am.

Thank you for your consideration.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010



Yes I know I haven't posted since last year *gasp* but well, life got in my way.

I am back long enough to post some Olympic pictures. The Vancouver 2010 games are here and we are close enough to the city to enjoy the action!! It is such an exciting time and Little J is having so much fun going into the city to see the sights and of course, going to watch a couple of hockey games.

The boy has Olympic fever big time. Today he told me he wants to be speed skater or the guy who drives the luge. As long as he doesn't try to ski jump off my roof, it's all good. Heck, we all have Olympic fever. :)

I have no idea what order the pictures loaded in but they are random shots of downtown Vancouver and the hockey game we went to.


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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Thursday, December 3, 2009

To Flu or not to Flu.....

I have a dilemma in my head.....well one of many but that's beside the point here.

Get the swine flu shot or not, and more importantly, do I get it for Little J.

A month ago when the vaccine rolled into clinics across this great land of ours *cough* *cough* and multitudes of panicked folk lined up for hours to get their shot but if and only if you fell into a high risk group. Clinics quickly ran out and shut their doors, professional and semi-professional sports teams jumped the line and people freaked out that they would not be able to get their shot.

Now according to the head health dude there is enough vaccine available for every God fearing, law abiding Canadian to get a shot.

My reason for not getting it and having to make the decision has been yanked out from under me. Damn it all to hell.

I have never had the flu shot and given the fact that I will get any illness circulating around, I have not had the flu in several years *knock on wood*. Having worked with the public for the last 22 years *gasp* I am amazed I haven't contracted Ebola. I've seen what people do to their money and where they put it *shudders*.
I don't care what people think when I spray Lysol on the debit machine as soon as they put it down. :P Last week our store received a shipment of PERSONAL FLU KITS.
I shit you not people..the Personal Flu Kit contains a face mask, one-time use thermometer and not one but two antiseptic wipes. All this can be yours for only
$2.98CAN. Hurry! At this price they won't last long. Give me a freakin break.....

It's the kid I'm really waffling about. While I want to give him any chance I can to keep him healthy do I really want to inject him with a virus? What if he's the one of the few who have an adverse reaction? I was the mom at the Dr's freaking out during their kids vaccinations. I delayed the MMR and held my breath and prayed like crazy that nothing would go wrong. (told you I had issues) Little J is a very healthy kid, he has his daddy's immune system and I can count on one hand how many times he's been sick. Do I do more harm than good by vaccinating or not vaccinating?

With so many other concerns out there: HFCS, Red Dye #40, BPE, MSG and who knows what other 'cancer causing' ingredients will be uncovered in Little J's favorite foods, do I want to inject more chemicals into him??

This parenting gig is hard. I should be worrying about Little J's Christmas list...the little stinker wants a DSi but will accept a regular DS if he has too. WTF?? He's 5...what does he know about hand held video games?? The whole school thing is a bad influence on him :) See...yet another dilemna....

I should just stop thinking so hard.