Nookie!

Dear Husband

This letter is to inform you of my intention to initiate marital relations with you on Sat Feb 14/09.

I expect the minor child to be bathed, brushed and ready for bed by 8pm.

I will be freshly washed, waxed and hopefully inebriated {remember I like white wine} by 9pm.

Please be in the Master Bedroom in the west wing by 9:05pm. If you are late I may decide to go to sleep which renders the above offer null and void.

This letter of intention will expire at 11:01pm Feb 14/09. This offer is
non-transferable or refundable.

Sincerely
~me