Adventures in Hair Colour

I think I have medium blonde hair. I have been colouring my hair for 20 years and I honestly don't know what it looks like 'au natural'. Isn't that sad?? For the last 6 years I used the same colour each and every time, a very nice buttery blonde. Well, they dicountinued that shade and left me adrift in a sea of choices. Added to my problem, every since I popped out the kid, my hair has had a mind of it's own and does what it damn well please. So the colour on the box is not usually what ends up on my head.

I temporarily lost my mind and decided to go from platinum blonde to um well, dark auburn.
First time turned out rather well. All nice even colour, no one ran screaming at the sight of me.
I felt brave and opted to go a little 'funky' and get a burgandy hued colour. Well... the roots and about the first 3 inches of my hair looked fabulous but the rest of it...oh crap! The previously coloured hair sucked up every last bit of dye and it damn near black. I am 2 toned and not in a good way. I cannot fix it and am afraid to try. It's not washing out well either. I refuse to pay someone $$$ to fix me so here I am, the object of snickers and giggles wherever I go (I'm sure no is actually point and laughing but whatever)

I think I should just get my hair cut super super short, let the colour grow out and see what I actually look like 'real'.

Oh the horror! Clairol help me!!!