If I were a horse.....

....they would shoot me to put me out of my misery and use my body-parts for dog food and glue.

I am old.

I am out of shape.

This comes as a surprise to me. My denial bubble has been burst.

Up until 5 years ago, my job was pretty physical. I was constantly in motion lifting pushing, pulling etc. The job I have now is mostly mental, meaning I spend the majority of my time cruising the sales floor interacting with customers and coaching the associates. Sure there are times, like Back To School Chaos, that I am hoofing stock around but not to the degree that I am doing on the night stocking shifts.

These overnights are kicking my ass! What I am doing is getting ready for store inventory so I am organizing, down stocking, verifying quantities of all the stock on and above the shelves. {about 3 million $$ worth..} Now there is the easy way to do it...simply shift as little stock as possible, tag it and move on. But no.... me the damn perfectionist has to make it pretty. Grrrr! So there I am up and down the ladders {12foot ladders} about 1953 times, usually carrying 30lbs of boxes, moving them around etc. My body is feeling the strain.

My arms are like jello. I have a hard time gripping my coffee cup and this typing stuff is painful! My calves are cramping, my arse hurts and my knees are making alarming creaking noises with every step.

When did I become so soft and pathetic? How did I not notice it happening? Now mind you, I am not concerned enough about it to do something crazy like join a gym and start working out but jeez, am I going to be the Mom at soccer practice with a walker? Maybe one of those motorized scooters?

I need a nice young hot-looking Swedish man with slow strong hands named Sven to give me a total body massage. Any ideas on where I could find such a man? LOL!