Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm baaaaaack.....


I am back from my trip safe,sound and full of new knowledge. Ok, maybe not the new knowledge part. :)

I hate flying, I hate turbulence and I hate people who hog the arm-rests. I am not a big person but that doesn't mean there is room for both you and I in MY seat! I believe it's a scientific fact that as soon as the drink cart gets half-way up the aisle that there will be major turbulence, the seat belt light comes on, the cart goes away, the flight crew straps down and I am left juggling a boiling hot cup of tea. The person in front of me will constantly put their seat back and forward, back and forward at least 15 times during the flight and the person behind me will continuously kick the back of my seat. Every time I have a window seat the people beside me will fall asleep and I will need to pee. I will then sit there clenching, trying not to think about how bad I have to pee and wait for them to wake up so I can climb out of my seat. I will arrive at my destination, disheveled, wrinkled, extremely cranky and sporting a fabulous migraine. I do not travel well.

Big J managed not to burn the house down while I was gone. He claims to be exhausted and traumatised from being a single parent for 3 days plus taking care of the cats/dog. Is he freakin kidding me!?!? He did not one stitch of housework while I was gone! When he goes fishing for a week at a time I manage just fine AND he comes home to a spotless house. Little J probably did not eat a single fruit or vegetable while I was gone. One would think that he would appreciate what I do around here and give me some sort of props for being awesome but no, I have boobies which makes domestication my job and he has a penis so he builds stuff.

So my biggest news is I AM AN AUNTIE!!!! My brother had his first child yesterday. A little girl named Ava. I am sooo excited! Now I can satisfy my big-ass bow cravings without having to make a girl of my own. I will see my new niece tonight and will post pictures. My mom and I bought their car seat and some supplies as they have ZERO clue on what they're doing. My SIL has 4 older sisters so I figured they would be helping her out but this is not the case. It was nice to finally unload the pack-n-play, fuzzy blankets, swing, bassinet, activity mat etc out of my attic. I've got some room up there now!

My laptop is still getting worked on. I sent it in for a dead battery and keyboard. They are replacing my hard-drive. WTF? I was having no trouble with the hard-drive but apparently it failed some sort of HP Smart test. Stupid me did not back anything up either.... pissybuggerbitchshitdamnfuckmeupthegoatass. I have requested that they send the old hard-drive back so I can transfer the data over. I will unfortunately lose my um 'un-authorized' version of Office Ultimate. Crap. I hope to have it back in another week or so. Until then I will be forced to post at un-godly hours such as 4:30am. Like I am now.

So I am banging away on hubby's desktop. I don't know how he uses this thing. It's so dang slow. I'm sure I could send smoke signals or use drums to get this message out faster. There is an unknown sticky substance all over the keyboard which I will assume is apple juice.

I got a whopping 3hrs sleep tonight and now it's time to wake up and get ready for work. Little J has a cold again and was up coughing and blowing his nose. I end up wide awake so of course the cats think it's time for food and they run around howling which gets the dog excited who starts to bark so I throw her outside. Chaos at my house at 3am and of course Mr Ass-hat sleeps through the whole thing. I have to send J to daycare even if he is sick as I can't call in 'sick'. I'm opening the store..who would I call? Yes, I am one of those horrible parents who sends their snotty kid to school to make your kid sick. If I kept J home every time he had a runny nose or cough he'd never leave the house and I would be un-employed.

I gotta go get ready for work...hope you all had a great week while I was gone and I will try to catch up on everyone in the next couple of days.


  1. I hate flying. Hate it. If only we could perfect beaming a la Star Trek, my life would be a lot better.

    Oh, and my husband has to watch the baby for a couple of hours and you'd think I'd just saddled him with the third shift in the coal mine but according to him my life is like a vacation. Yeah, that sounds about right.

  2. You crack me up! I wish I had that much drama in my life...oh wait...no I don't but I love reading about it when it's happening to others!!

  3. I hate flying too..for all the reasons you listed...well that and the last time I flew I had a 5 year old with me...now that was fun...NOT!

    Don't you love how the men can't handle the kid while we were away...or maybe they can handle them but they are incapable of doing ANYTHING else...

  4. Oh and congrats on the birth of your neice. Love the name they chose.

  5. Wow... congrats on your new niece!!! And by the way, I'm probably one of those that sit next to you and hog the armrest - but only because I'm so nervous inside that I need to grip it until my knuckles are white!