Friday, April 3, 2009

How does your garden grow?

After reading this post most of you will wonder how in heck I managed to raise a live human being without causing lasting and permanent damage {the jury is still out on that one..}

Little J saw a commercial for Chia Pets just before Christmas and begged me to ask Santa to bring him one. I figured I could use this as a learning opportunity to teach Little J responsibility for caring for something living. Watering, putting in light etc.

I am full of ideas that sound fabulous in theory and make me sound like an intelligent involved creative mom. Dazzle them with Bullshit. :) If only real life worked out as well.....

Chia did very well at first, we kept him watered, moved him around the house to the best windowsill and left the radio on so he wouldn't get lonely. As Chia began to grow we noticed something was terribly wrong. The 'stuff' was growing off it's head. It looked nothing like the full, succulent, happy Chias we saw on TV. I felt ripped off. Could we have screwed it up? A chia pet? Easier than freakin Sea Monkeys?

I dug out the instructions that I had tossed oh so nonchalantly on the table assuming that they were not needed. Come on people, what kind of moron needs directions for a Chia pet? But I digress....
Imagine my surprise to read that there are 3 applications included.

We had shmushed ALL of the seeds onto poor chia's head at once. There was of course no cure or 'fix' for our error and we could only wait and watch.

I tried to fix Chia, pulling off excess seeds, stretching delicate strands of green to even it out {similar to an old man comb-over} but I couldn't fix him.

This is how Chia turned out before all his 'hair' pulled off his head and plopped on the counter.

..................... it's ok, I wait here until you stop laughing............I've got nowhere to be...........did you need some water?............ready?..............

Shortly after this picture was taken, he shriveled up and he got recycled as a planter in my real garden.

Then last week Auntie Bones stops by for a visit and brings a Grass-head. Auntie Bones brings Little J a present every time she visits {Auntie Bones is my BFF} She laughed so hard when she heard about the Chia pet that she just about peed herself {she also birthed a 10lb child with no drugs!} So to torture me, she brings this stupid grass-head. I fear we may be in for another disappointment but so far so good....we have kept Mr.Grass head alive and well for a week now :)

He looks kinda creepy now that I think about it, maybe I'll put him outside tonight.


  1. I have a confirmed black thumb. If it is green, it won't stay that way for long under my care. The only things that survive in my house/garden are plants whose will to live is so strong that it overpowers my ineptitude as a gardener.

    Love the grasshead. Which by the way, is what I called a guy I knew, not because he had grass growing out of his head, although I'll bet he wished he had. But not that kind.

  2. My husband thinks I am a little weird for laughing at my computer. good luck with that....thing.

  3. No green thumb here either...grasshead does look really creepy!