I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!
May the Schwarz be with you.....
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Round and Round We Go
Lets talk Round-Abouts or Traffic Circles.
I don't understand why people find these so damn confusing! You can see the look of panic in their eyes upon noticing a traffic circle up ahead. They frantically look for a side street, any side street, to zip down to avoid it. They are not that complicated. I only hate them because of stupid people.
Seriously.. traffic comes from the left, traffic on your right goes first, everyone stays in the circle until your off-shoot comes...do not stop once you are in the damn circle!!!
I suppose no one has ever been killed in a traffic circle accident as no one travels more than 10kms but there are a whack of fender benders I'm sure.
It's like those stupid revolving doors some big fancy stores used to have. Maybe they still do, I don't know. I live in suburbia and shop Wal-Mart. No fancy doors here my friends.
I don't understand why people find these so damn confusing! You can see the look of panic in their eyes upon noticing a traffic circle up ahead. They frantically look for a side street, any side street, to zip down to avoid it. They are not that complicated. I only hate them because of stupid people.
Seriously.. traffic comes from the left, traffic on your right goes first, everyone stays in the circle until your off-shoot comes...do not stop once you are in the damn circle!!!
I suppose no one has ever been killed in a traffic circle accident as no one travels more than 10kms but there are a whack of fender benders I'm sure.
It's like those stupid revolving doors some big fancy stores used to have. Maybe they still do, I don't know. I live in suburbia and shop Wal-Mart. No fancy doors here my friends.
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Day that Was
When did my baby grow up to be such a big boy? It struck me like a giant bolt of lightening from the heavens today. We were out and about running errands and we were having conversations the entire time. I know that doesn't sound like anything amazing or stupendous but in my household *I* am the only one who talks. So to spend over an hour in the car chit-chatting with Little J was pretty amazing and I'm so glad I didn't miss it. My kid is really quite funny and I love watching his sense of humour develop...I have a feeling I'll be getting lots of calls from his school about his 'class clown' silliness disturbing the class.
I was off today and dammit I was going to sleep in. Little J had other plans..I managed to hold off the Devil-child until 9am. Up until then he had been very patient, knocking and whispering "Mommy can you wake up now?". Apparently we had reached the point of no return. He flipped on the light, flopped on the bed with a 'woe is me' sigh.."Mommy! I'm going to starve to death if you don't make me breakfast right.this.second!" "You don't want me to starve do you? Grandma will be mad at you." Huh?
My birth certificate came {$70 express service my ass!} so off to Driver Services we went. There was no way in Gods green earth I was going back to the giant people processing place in my hometown so we went on a road trip to the next city over. I would much rather spend the hour driving on the highway in the sunshine singing and playing 'eye-spy' than sit in that horrible horrible cold sterile crowed waiting room. OMG WHAT A DIFFERENCE! We get there and theres what, like 2 people in line?
The lady apologized for my wait when I got to her wicket..wait what wait? My kid hasn't even started destroying your lobby yet, we just got here! Little J got a 'wear your helmet' tattoo. He said thank-you {that's my boy} and then loudly proclaimed
"Can you help me put it on? My Mommy can't do it very well" Add that to the list of my faults. He also tells people I'm 'earsposible' for losing my license.
I have no business being a role model. :)
I promised Little J lunch at McD's for good behaviour as it's in the same strip mall. We walk over there {dragging Little J behind me} it's packed to the rafters and the play-place is crawling with all sorts of little folk. I convince J-man that it's a good idea to go to the other side of the wall to Burger King instead. So off we go through the fields and over the hills to Burger King only to find out..the play place is closed. %$@!%!!!!!
Other than that nothing exciting happened at all. Good for me, bad for blogging.
Little J has become oddly attached to a pair a Spiderman Gloves. They came as a set with a toque. The Toque fits fine {kids got a big melon} the gloves are way to big and the fingers are floppy but he wears them everywhere. As I type this out he is measuring my head with a ruler. I apparently pass inspection.
peace out
I was off today and dammit I was going to sleep in. Little J had other plans..I managed to hold off the Devil-child until 9am. Up until then he had been very patient, knocking and whispering "Mommy can you wake up now?". Apparently we had reached the point of no return. He flipped on the light, flopped on the bed with a 'woe is me' sigh.."Mommy! I'm going to starve to death if you don't make me breakfast right.this.second!" "You don't want me to starve do you? Grandma will be mad at you." Huh?
My birth certificate came {$70 express service my ass!} so off to Driver Services we went. There was no way in Gods green earth I was going back to the giant people processing place in my hometown so we went on a road trip to the next city over. I would much rather spend the hour driving on the highway in the sunshine singing and playing 'eye-spy' than sit in that horrible horrible cold sterile crowed waiting room. OMG WHAT A DIFFERENCE! We get there and theres what, like 2 people in line?
The lady apologized for my wait when I got to her wicket..wait what wait? My kid hasn't even started destroying your lobby yet, we just got here! Little J got a 'wear your helmet' tattoo. He said thank-you {that's my boy} and then loudly proclaimed
"Can you help me put it on? My Mommy can't do it very well" Add that to the list of my faults. He also tells people I'm 'earsposible' for losing my license.
I have no business being a role model. :)
I promised Little J lunch at McD's for good behaviour as it's in the same strip mall. We walk over there {dragging Little J behind me} it's packed to the rafters and the play-place is crawling with all sorts of little folk. I convince J-man that it's a good idea to go to the other side of the wall to Burger King instead. So off we go through the fields and over the hills to Burger King only to find out..the play place is closed. %$@!%!!!!!
Other than that nothing exciting happened at all. Good for me, bad for blogging.
Little J has become oddly attached to a pair a Spiderman Gloves. They came as a set with a toque. The Toque fits fine {kids got a big melon} the gloves are way to big and the fingers are floppy but he wears them everywhere. As I type this out he is measuring my head with a ruler. I apparently pass inspection.
peace out
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A new addiction
I have discovered a delicious new addiction. It's called Bubble Town on MSN Games.
Oh my good God......I have been playing it for about 4 hours so far tonight. It's a sickness, it really is.
I'm really hoping someone put my child to bed cause I have checked out of the building. *evil laugh*
While out and about today I noticed something. This city always smells like something. If the wind comes from the East, it smells like the fish processing plant. If it comes from the West it smells like the sewage treatment plant. If it comes from the South it smells like the ocean. If it comes from the North is smells like dead skunk. I don't need a stinkin wind sock to tell what direction the wind is coming from.
Wow, that was really random huh. Oh well.
I am having a major panic attack about my lost drivers license. {I lost it, need an original birth certificate to get it re-issued. I don't have one}. I faxed off my application for my birth certificate to Manitoba last week, they have no record of it. GRRRR! I MUST HAVE a license in 6 weeks because I have to fly out of town for a conference. I need photo ID to fly. I'm so screwed if things don't fall into line in time. Send speedy government bureaucracy thoughts!
Back to my fabulous Bubbles.
Oh my good God......I have been playing it for about 4 hours so far tonight. It's a sickness, it really is.
I'm really hoping someone put my child to bed cause I have checked out of the building. *evil laugh*
While out and about today I noticed something. This city always smells like something. If the wind comes from the East, it smells like the fish processing plant. If it comes from the West it smells like the sewage treatment plant. If it comes from the South it smells like the ocean. If it comes from the North is smells like dead skunk. I don't need a stinkin wind sock to tell what direction the wind is coming from.
Wow, that was really random huh. Oh well.
I am having a major panic attack about my lost drivers license. {I lost it, need an original birth certificate to get it re-issued. I don't have one}. I faxed off my application for my birth certificate to Manitoba last week, they have no record of it. GRRRR! I MUST HAVE a license in 6 weeks because I have to fly out of town for a conference. I need photo ID to fly. I'm so screwed if things don't fall into line in time. Send speedy government bureaucracy thoughts!
Back to my fabulous Bubbles.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Angry Mommy plays Drunken Wii
We had a fun-filled action packed weekend with a little bit of everything thrown in.
Started the day at a nephews b-day party. No place I'd rather be than trapped in a room full of kids running around hopped up on cheezies and cupcake and hanging out with moms I don't know. That would be PHUN with a 'PH' my friends. This is why God created Xanax. My nephews are fabulous boys and they are so well behaved. I want to send Little J to live with them for a few months. Is that bad of me? I only want the best for my boy. ;)
Saturday night we had friends over to eat a little, drink a little and play a little Wii. I understood 'drink a little' to mean 'drink any and all remotely alcoholic beverages in the house. Lucky for me I couldn't find the anti-freeze.
So we are setting up the Wii and picking Mii's {for those that may not know, you create a 'me' that you use to play the games. You can get very detailed and get them to look like you} Anyhowdywho, we're flipping though Mii and I see 'ANGRY MOMMY'.
Apparently my sweet child and positive-role-model husband had created a Mii in my image. Angry Mommy? Is this how my kid really sees me? Am I angry all the time?
{ok so now I'm singing that Tim Mcgraw song with the line 'why you gotta be angry all the time?}
Of course, my 'friends' thought this was the cats-ass and now I don't hear the end of it. They leave voice mails and ask "Is Angry Mommy there?" BASTURDS!!
Drunken Wii kicked ass and it was so worth the hangover the next morning.
Below is a pic of Angry Mommy on the Left and 'Mojo' aka Daddy on the right.
So Big J lets me sleep in until NOON on Sunday. Yes I said it...NOON! I'm almost embarrassed to admit that but F-it! I deserve it. I should have been suspicious regarding this demonstration of compassion and goodwill but I was still feeling all warm and fuzzy from the alcohol the night before. At 2pm Big J disappeared into the bedroom and I did not see him until 5:30pm when he wandered back out and informed me that he had invited his parents over for dinner and they would be here at 6:30pm!
WHAT IN HOLY HELL!?!?!!!!
He fed Little J friggin PopTarts for lunch and now I have to cook for his parents?
It's a darn good thing I like his parents, and more importantly they like me and have low expectations. They are well aware of my domestic shortcomings. I have provided them with the only male heir. I can do no wrong. I'm golden baby, golden.
Good thing they like spaghetti.
Now, the father in law is a crazy old man and he is the kind of person who talks AT you and doesn't really listen to what you reply. We think he may be getting senile but's it's always good for a laugh. {that is soo mean!}
So we're watching the Oscars and Hugh Jackman and Beyonce are singing....this is the following conversation he and I have:
Dad: Who is that?
Me: Beyonce.
Dad: Whose?
Me: What
Dad: Whose?
Me: Beyonce!
Dad: Ya but whose?!
Me: Not Fiance you batshyte crazy old man..Beyonce!!
Dad: Well why didn't you say so?
This is the gene pool my child had to pick from, I'm praying that all Little J inherited from that side of the family is his fabulous blue eyes.
Off to put the Little One to bed.
Nitey Nite!
Started the day at a nephews b-day party. No place I'd rather be than trapped in a room full of kids running around hopped up on cheezies and cupcake and hanging out with moms I don't know. That would be PHUN with a 'PH' my friends. This is why God created Xanax. My nephews are fabulous boys and they are so well behaved. I want to send Little J to live with them for a few months. Is that bad of me? I only want the best for my boy. ;)
Saturday night we had friends over to eat a little, drink a little and play a little Wii. I understood 'drink a little' to mean 'drink any and all remotely alcoholic beverages in the house. Lucky for me I couldn't find the anti-freeze.
So we are setting up the Wii and picking Mii's {for those that may not know, you create a 'me' that you use to play the games. You can get very detailed and get them to look like you} Anyhowdywho, we're flipping though Mii and I see 'ANGRY MOMMY'.
Apparently my sweet child and positive-role-model husband had created a Mii in my image. Angry Mommy? Is this how my kid really sees me? Am I angry all the time?
{ok so now I'm singing that Tim Mcgraw song with the line 'why you gotta be angry all the time?}
Of course, my 'friends' thought this was the cats-ass and now I don't hear the end of it. They leave voice mails and ask "Is Angry Mommy there?" BASTURDS!!
Drunken Wii kicked ass and it was so worth the hangover the next morning.
Below is a pic of Angry Mommy on the Left and 'Mojo' aka Daddy on the right.
So Big J lets me sleep in until NOON on Sunday. Yes I said it...NOON! I'm almost embarrassed to admit that but F-it! I deserve it. I should have been suspicious regarding this demonstration of compassion and goodwill but I was still feeling all warm and fuzzy from the alcohol the night before. At 2pm Big J disappeared into the bedroom and I did not see him until 5:30pm when he wandered back out and informed me that he had invited his parents over for dinner and they would be here at 6:30pm!
WHAT IN HOLY HELL!?!?!!!!
He fed Little J friggin PopTarts for lunch and now I have to cook for his parents?
It's a darn good thing I like his parents, and more importantly they like me and have low expectations. They are well aware of my domestic shortcomings. I have provided them with the only male heir. I can do no wrong. I'm golden baby, golden.
Good thing they like spaghetti.
Now, the father in law is a crazy old man and he is the kind of person who talks AT you and doesn't really listen to what you reply. We think he may be getting senile but's it's always good for a laugh. {that is soo mean!}
So we're watching the Oscars and Hugh Jackman and Beyonce are singing....this is the following conversation he and I have:
Dad: Who is that?
Me: Beyonce.
Dad: Whose?
Me: What
Dad: Whose?
Me: Beyonce!
Dad: Ya but whose?!
Me: Not Fiance you batshyte crazy old man..Beyonce!!
Dad: Well why didn't you say so?
This is the gene pool my child had to pick from, I'm praying that all Little J inherited from that side of the family is his fabulous blue eyes.
Off to put the Little One to bed.
Nitey Nite!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
My Kingdom for a Good Nights Sleep.
I love my husband. I really do. But we should not sleep together. EVER.
Those folks in the 60's had it right with the separate twin beds....heck, separate bedrooms is even better. My folks sleep in different rooms, my In laws sleep in different rooms and they are perfectly happy well-rested individuals.
I am what one would call a fussy sleeper. Room must be completely dark, silent, gotta have my pillows and blankets and for the love of God, do not attempt to touch me when I am sleeping or I will wake up. I'm a light sleeper, the cat farts and I'm up. It takes me a good 30-60mins to fall asleep on a good night and I'm lucky if I stay sleeping for more than a few hours at a time. It's a rare and joyous occasion when I get 6 solid hours in a row.
My darling husband on the other hand is a hard sleeper. He can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, anyhow. He sleeps like the dead and nothing wakes him up. I have had to leave in the middle of the night for alarm calls at the store many times and he has not even twitched. The phone is right beside his head, he won't hear it. His alarm is not only set to the incessant beeping but the radio is set to some bizarre station and it CRANKED UP ALL THE DAMN WAY. It goes off, I pee my pants. I still have to kick him several times to get him out of bed. He also snores, snorts, talks, flops around, hogs the bed and covers and lets not forget the farting.
Can you see how this is not compatible?
I can't go sleep with Little J as his bed is too small and he sleeps just.like.daddy.
GAH!
Our next house will have an extra bedroom
And people wonder why I'm exhausted all the time. I'm hesitant to try sleeping pills because someone has to be able to wake up if something happens during the night or if Little J wakes up and needs something. There is no way Big J would wake up. He is absolutely 100% useless after he falls asleep.
I am going to try going back to bed. Sunrise is in 1.5hrs and if I can get back to sleep before then, tonight won't feel like a total loss.
must.not.smother.husband.with.pillow
Sweet Dreams!
Those folks in the 60's had it right with the separate twin beds....heck, separate bedrooms is even better. My folks sleep in different rooms, my In laws sleep in different rooms and they are perfectly happy well-rested individuals.
I am what one would call a fussy sleeper. Room must be completely dark, silent, gotta have my pillows and blankets and for the love of God, do not attempt to touch me when I am sleeping or I will wake up. I'm a light sleeper, the cat farts and I'm up. It takes me a good 30-60mins to fall asleep on a good night and I'm lucky if I stay sleeping for more than a few hours at a time. It's a rare and joyous occasion when I get 6 solid hours in a row.
My darling husband on the other hand is a hard sleeper. He can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, anyhow. He sleeps like the dead and nothing wakes him up. I have had to leave in the middle of the night for alarm calls at the store many times and he has not even twitched. The phone is right beside his head, he won't hear it. His alarm is not only set to the incessant beeping but the radio is set to some bizarre station and it CRANKED UP ALL THE DAMN WAY. It goes off, I pee my pants. I still have to kick him several times to get him out of bed. He also snores, snorts, talks, flops around, hogs the bed and covers and lets not forget the farting.
Can you see how this is not compatible?
I can't go sleep with Little J as his bed is too small and he sleeps just.like.daddy.
GAH!
Our next house will have an extra bedroom
And people wonder why I'm exhausted all the time. I'm hesitant to try sleeping pills because someone has to be able to wake up if something happens during the night or if Little J wakes up and needs something. There is no way Big J would wake up. He is absolutely 100% useless after he falls asleep.
I am going to try going back to bed. Sunrise is in 1.5hrs and if I can get back to sleep before then, tonight won't feel like a total loss.
must.not.smother.husband.with.pillow
Sweet Dreams!
Friday, February 20, 2009
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