I have decreed that henceforth Tuesdays will be a recycle day. I am too lazy-er-busy to write a post so I shall breathe new life into a post done long long ago when I had no 'people'. Do I still have 'people'? I dunno. It's been so long....
Anyways, I digress....
This was originally posted in February.
Cheers
schmooch.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Angry Mommy plays Drunken Wii
We had a fun-filled action packed weekend with a little bit of everything thrown in.
Started the day at a nephews b-day party. No place I'd rather be than trapped in a room full of kids running around hopped up on cheezies and cupcake and hanging out with moms I don't know. That would be PHUN with a 'PH' my friends. This is why God created Xanax. My nephews are fabulous boys and they are so well behaved. I want to send Little J to live with them for a few months. Is that bad of me? I only want the best for my boy. ;)
Saturday night we had friends over to eat a little, drink a little and play a little Wii. I understood 'drink a little' to mean 'drink any and all remotely alcoholic beverages in the house. Lucky for me I couldn't find the anti-freeze.
So we are setting up the Wii and picking Mii's {for those that may not know, you create a 'me' that you use to play the games. You can get very detailed and get them to look like you} Anyhowdywho, we're flipping though Mii and I see 'ANGRY MOMMY'.
Apparently my sweet child and positive-role-model husband had created a Mii in my image. Angry Mommy? Is this how my kid really sees me? Am I angry all the time?
{ok so now I'm singing that Tim Mcgraw song with the line 'why you gotta be angry all the time?}
Of course, my 'friends' thought this was the cats-ass and now I don't hear the end of it. They leave voice mails and ask "Is Angry Mommy there?" BASTURDS!!
Drunken Wii kicked ass and it was so worth the hangover the next morning.
So Big J lets me sleep in until NOON on Sunday. Yes I said it...NOON! I'm almost embarrassed to admit that but F-it! I deserve it. I should have been suspicious regarding this demonstration of compassion and goodwill but I was still feeling all warm and fuzzy from the alcohol the night before. At 2pm Big J disappeared into the bedroom and I did not see him until 5:30pm when he wandered back out and informed me that he had invited his parents over for dinner and they would be here at 6:30pm!
WHAT IN HOLY HELL!?!?!!!!
He fed Little J friggin PopTarts for lunch and now I have to cook for his parents?
It's a darn good thing I like his parents, and more importantly they like me and have low expectations. They are well aware of my domestic shortcomings. I have provided them with the only male heir. I can do no wrong. I'm golden baby, golden.
Good thing they like spaghetti.
Now, the father in law is a crazy old man and he is the kind of person who talks AT you and doesn't really listen to what you reply. We think he may be getting senile but's it's always good for a laugh. {that is soo mean!}
So we're watching the Oscars and Hugh Jackman and Beyonce are singing....this is the following conversation he and I have:
Dad: Who is that?
Me: Beyonce.
Dad: Whose?
Me: What
Dad: Whose?
Me: Beyonce!
Dad: Ya but whose?!
Me: Not Fiance you batshyte crazy old man..Beyonce!!
Dad: Well why didn't you say so?
This is the gene pool my child had to pick from, I'm praying that all Little J inherited from that side of the family is his fabulous blue eyes.
Off to put the Little One to bed.
Nitey Nite!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
This is why I don't travel....
I am back from my business trip relatively unscathed which I consider to be a minor miracle. It was a most interesting trip and while the entire experience has helped me grow as a person, I do not wish to repeat it anytime in the future.
The first sign that this was not going to be 'smooth sailing', happened before even leaving the house. We usually fly West-Jet who I love love love but we were booked on Air Canada *patooie*. I attempted to check-in online to avoid some of the Saturday afternoon line ups. Not really familiar with their web check in set up I stumbled around a bit and after searching their entire database I eventually determined that I was already checked in. Somehow, someone in our group booking had checked EVERYONE in and now were screwed because obviously, we did not have the luggage tag or boarding pass. Why is that a big deal you may ask? Well, it now involved 4 different line ups and 6 different people to get my luggage checked and my pass printed. I was not confident at this point that my luggage would end up on the same plane as me.
Thinking that I was free and clear for trouble, I kissed my family good bye and headed through security. I was immediately cut from the herd and sent though a booth at the very end. Put my bag on the rolling thing and took off my jacket. "Laptop, liquid,gels?" barked Helga the heavy set East German woman. "Uh no" I reply. "What you have under sweater?" growls my buddy Helga in her heavy accent". "Pardon?" I ask not quite understanding. "Sweater! Take it off!" she says pointing her finger at me.
Uh..ok whatever.. I had a tank top under my zip up cardigan. So I strip down and wait my turn through the metal detector. Of course I light the scanner up like Christmas. Dude waves me over and starts running the wand over me and it sounds like he's playing space invaders. He then has to wave Helga over for a 'physical search'.
Oh sweet jebus. Helga waddles over snapping her rubber gloves with an evil grin. Now, I usually get dinner and a movie before I allow someone down my pants but I didn't have much choice in the matter. I'm not a big person, 100lbs soaking wet with my shoes on and my clothing was form fitting so I'm really not sure what exactly they thought I was trying to smuggle on the plane, or where. At this point I'm half dressed and being felt up and sadly, it was the most action I'd seen in a while. The Gestapo finally clear me to go through and I head to my boarding area dragging my carry-on and clothing behind me. {Note to self..do not wear the boots with the buckles ever again.}
The flight out is uneventfully as is the trip to the hotel. Luckily I know my roommate and get along with her so I thought I was golden. No such luck.
I'm a smoker, in a non-smoking room. No biggie, I just open the sliding door and smoke outside the room. Easy peasy right? Well...... I got the door open, stepped outside and went to close the door. It didn't budge. So I pulled some more. Nada. Put my meager body weight behind it and puuuuuuushed. Suddenly the door unsticks, slams shut and my face hits the wall. Fabulous..now I have a scrape and goose-egg right above my eyebrow. *sigh* good thing the ice machine was just down the hall....
Got up on time, no small feat considering it was 6am their time, 3am my time. Ugh.
Navigate my way down to the conference area, grab my coffee, head out for a smoke and walk right into a crime scene. Oh Goody! Apparently someone was stabbed in the parking lot the night before. There were little yellow evidence markers everywhere and the knife was still lying in the ground. I did not fly across country to be a part of an episode of COPS.
The meetings were long, boring and we were herded like cattle. I worked really hard at looking and sounding like I knew what the hell I was talking about and I think I pulled it off.
In a cost cutting measure, we are kicked out and have to fly home the same day the meetings end. It makes for a long day but admittedly, it is nice to sleep in your own bed. Not knowing how long it will take with city rush hour traffic we head out as soon as we can. We got to the airport at 5pm and didn't fly out until 8:30pm.
Being the keeners that we are, we went through security right away. Given the experience on the way out and knowing that Toronto security is 'tougher' I was gearing up for a raping. I bagged and doubled bag my lighter, stripped down and prayed. Cranky dude waves me through and holding my breath and sweat running down my back I step through the metal detector and nothing happens. Absolutely nothing. Trying really hard to be nonchalant I pick up my bags and saunter away still half convinced that any second someone is going to run up and scream..."Quick get her! I think she has a nail file in her carry-on!" It wasn't until we were in and through security that I realized..... there was no place for me to smoke. I twitched a little but figured I could muddle my way through by chewing gum or gnawing on the arm of my seat.
Having birthed a child who spent the majority of his gestational time hanging out on my bladder, I have peeing issues. No matter how little I try to drink or how many times I make myself go, I will have to pee at the most inconvenient time.
I had a middle seat for the flight. In the window seat was a Crackberry addicted woman who was still texting as the plane was taking off! I stared at her while my inside voice was screaming "OMG YOU STUPID WOMAN! They said to turn it off! Are you trying to kill us all!! You can go 5 hours without texting dammit!" Seriously, she checked it while we were in the air too. On the aisle side of me was an um ,er, ah, 'fluffy' gentleman who promptly fell asleep while hogging the armrest. He snored.
All was well until 30mins into the flight when the flight attendant came on to request the assistance of any medical doctor who may be on board. That is never a good sign.
Sure enough, the pilot came on a short time later to announce that we were landing in Winnipeg due to an emergency medical situation on board. I would like to think I'm a sympathetic person but oh...my...god.... with my wonderful seat mates, and lack of nicotine I was close to snapping. It was the worst landing I have ever been through. We hit the runway with a jolt hard enough to snap my head back and wake up Sleepy Beauty beside me. The plane veered sharply to the right before straightening out again. Luckily no one was hurt. One of the overhead luggage thingies popped open spilling out suitcases. This was getting better and better.
We sat on the tarmac for 2 hours in Winnipeg. Crackberry chick was texting away like a madwoman and Mr Fluffy went back to sleep when he realized we were not being fed while waiting. I had to pee something fierce by this point and was trapped in my seat. I tried climbing over Mt Creepy but just couldn't get past his knees and he was not responding the my repeated pokes and hissed "Excuse me's" I undid the top button of my pants to give my bladder some breathing room and tried not to think about waterfalls and rivers. I'm pretty sure I damaged a kidney.
By the time we landed at home we were 2 hours late, my bladder had exploded, I was frothing at the mouth and twitching from lack of nicotine and caffeine. As soon as the doors opened on the plane I was off like a bat out of hell. I vaulted small chidren and suitcases as I ran though the airport to the nearest bathroom.
I just don't' have the mental wherewithal to be a traveller.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish sanitizing all my belongings cause the only thing I didn't get on this trip was 'sick'
The first sign that this was not going to be 'smooth sailing', happened before even leaving the house. We usually fly West-Jet who I love love love but we were booked on Air Canada *patooie*. I attempted to check-in online to avoid some of the Saturday afternoon line ups. Not really familiar with their web check in set up I stumbled around a bit and after searching their entire database I eventually determined that I was already checked in. Somehow, someone in our group booking had checked EVERYONE in and now were screwed because obviously, we did not have the luggage tag or boarding pass. Why is that a big deal you may ask? Well, it now involved 4 different line ups and 6 different people to get my luggage checked and my pass printed. I was not confident at this point that my luggage would end up on the same plane as me.
Thinking that I was free and clear for trouble, I kissed my family good bye and headed through security. I was immediately cut from the herd and sent though a booth at the very end. Put my bag on the rolling thing and took off my jacket. "Laptop, liquid,gels?" barked Helga the heavy set East German woman. "Uh no" I reply. "What you have under sweater?" growls my buddy Helga in her heavy accent". "Pardon?" I ask not quite understanding. "Sweater! Take it off!" she says pointing her finger at me.
Uh..ok whatever.. I had a tank top under my zip up cardigan. So I strip down and wait my turn through the metal detector. Of course I light the scanner up like Christmas. Dude waves me over and starts running the wand over me and it sounds like he's playing space invaders. He then has to wave Helga over for a 'physical search'.
Oh sweet jebus. Helga waddles over snapping her rubber gloves with an evil grin. Now, I usually get dinner and a movie before I allow someone down my pants but I didn't have much choice in the matter. I'm not a big person, 100lbs soaking wet with my shoes on and my clothing was form fitting so I'm really not sure what exactly they thought I was trying to smuggle on the plane, or where. At this point I'm half dressed and being felt up and sadly, it was the most action I'd seen in a while. The Gestapo finally clear me to go through and I head to my boarding area dragging my carry-on and clothing behind me. {Note to self..do not wear the boots with the buckles ever again.}
The flight out is uneventfully as is the trip to the hotel. Luckily I know my roommate and get along with her so I thought I was golden. No such luck.
I'm a smoker, in a non-smoking room. No biggie, I just open the sliding door and smoke outside the room. Easy peasy right? Well...... I got the door open, stepped outside and went to close the door. It didn't budge. So I pulled some more. Nada. Put my meager body weight behind it and puuuuuuushed. Suddenly the door unsticks, slams shut and my face hits the wall. Fabulous..now I have a scrape and goose-egg right above my eyebrow. *sigh* good thing the ice machine was just down the hall....
Got up on time, no small feat considering it was 6am their time, 3am my time. Ugh.
Navigate my way down to the conference area, grab my coffee, head out for a smoke and walk right into a crime scene. Oh Goody! Apparently someone was stabbed in the parking lot the night before. There were little yellow evidence markers everywhere and the knife was still lying in the ground. I did not fly across country to be a part of an episode of COPS.
The meetings were long, boring and we were herded like cattle. I worked really hard at looking and sounding like I knew what the hell I was talking about and I think I pulled it off.
In a cost cutting measure, we are kicked out and have to fly home the same day the meetings end. It makes for a long day but admittedly, it is nice to sleep in your own bed. Not knowing how long it will take with city rush hour traffic we head out as soon as we can. We got to the airport at 5pm and didn't fly out until 8:30pm.
Being the keeners that we are, we went through security right away. Given the experience on the way out and knowing that Toronto security is 'tougher' I was gearing up for a raping. I bagged and doubled bag my lighter, stripped down and prayed. Cranky dude waves me through and holding my breath and sweat running down my back I step through the metal detector and nothing happens. Absolutely nothing. Trying really hard to be nonchalant I pick up my bags and saunter away still half convinced that any second someone is going to run up and scream..."Quick get her! I think she has a nail file in her carry-on!" It wasn't until we were in and through security that I realized..... there was no place for me to smoke. I twitched a little but figured I could muddle my way through by chewing gum or gnawing on the arm of my seat.
Having birthed a child who spent the majority of his gestational time hanging out on my bladder, I have peeing issues. No matter how little I try to drink or how many times I make myself go, I will have to pee at the most inconvenient time.
I had a middle seat for the flight. In the window seat was a Crackberry addicted woman who was still texting as the plane was taking off! I stared at her while my inside voice was screaming "OMG YOU STUPID WOMAN! They said to turn it off! Are you trying to kill us all!! You can go 5 hours without texting dammit!" Seriously, she checked it while we were in the air too. On the aisle side of me was an um ,er, ah, 'fluffy' gentleman who promptly fell asleep while hogging the armrest. He snored.
All was well until 30mins into the flight when the flight attendant came on to request the assistance of any medical doctor who may be on board. That is never a good sign.
Sure enough, the pilot came on a short time later to announce that we were landing in Winnipeg due to an emergency medical situation on board. I would like to think I'm a sympathetic person but oh...my...god.... with my wonderful seat mates, and lack of nicotine I was close to snapping. It was the worst landing I have ever been through. We hit the runway with a jolt hard enough to snap my head back and wake up Sleepy Beauty beside me. The plane veered sharply to the right before straightening out again. Luckily no one was hurt. One of the overhead luggage thingies popped open spilling out suitcases. This was getting better and better.
We sat on the tarmac for 2 hours in Winnipeg. Crackberry chick was texting away like a madwoman and Mr Fluffy went back to sleep when he realized we were not being fed while waiting. I had to pee something fierce by this point and was trapped in my seat. I tried climbing over Mt Creepy but just couldn't get past his knees and he was not responding the my repeated pokes and hissed "Excuse me's" I undid the top button of my pants to give my bladder some breathing room and tried not to think about waterfalls and rivers. I'm pretty sure I damaged a kidney.
By the time we landed at home we were 2 hours late, my bladder had exploded, I was frothing at the mouth and twitching from lack of nicotine and caffeine. As soon as the doors opened on the plane I was off like a bat out of hell. I vaulted small chidren and suitcases as I ran though the airport to the nearest bathroom.
I just don't' have the mental wherewithal to be a traveller.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish sanitizing all my belongings cause the only thing I didn't get on this trip was 'sick'
Friday, October 23, 2009
Leaving on a jet plane
So I am heading East for a business trip on Saturday. Have I mentioned how much I loathe flying!?!?? Ugh.
I get to spend the next 3 days surrounded my people. People in the airport, people on the plane, people at the hotel, people at the conference. Don't get me wrong, I generally like people, just not that much people at once. I'd like to be able to pick my nose or remove a wedgie without being watched. :)
I am leaving Ass-Hat in charge of the household and it's occupants. How much damage can he do in 3 days?? I've taped a big note to the computer,"FEED THE CATS" and a note on the fridge, "FEED THE CHILD SOME FRUIT" I'm not convinced either will happen more than once during my absence.
I think the time away from home may do me some good. Little J was diagnosed with ADHD this week and I have a lot of information to absorb. Ass-Hat is not dealing very well. We are exploring all the options and have some decisions to make about medicating or not medicating. It just breaks my heart because Little J is such a smart little boy but his inability to sit still, pay attention and concentrate is getting in his way. Perhaps now his Battle Ax teacher will get off my back about his "disruptive behaviour' while giving me the 'you suck as a parent' hairy eyeball.
Anybody out there with some experience about ADHD???
I leave you with a recent pic {August} of the demon child and the 'damn dog'.
cheers!
I get to spend the next 3 days surrounded my people. People in the airport, people on the plane, people at the hotel, people at the conference. Don't get me wrong, I generally like people, just not that much people at once. I'd like to be able to pick my nose or remove a wedgie without being watched. :)
I am leaving Ass-Hat in charge of the household and it's occupants. How much damage can he do in 3 days?? I've taped a big note to the computer,"FEED THE CATS" and a note on the fridge, "FEED THE CHILD SOME FRUIT" I'm not convinced either will happen more than once during my absence.
I think the time away from home may do me some good. Little J was diagnosed with ADHD this week and I have a lot of information to absorb. Ass-Hat is not dealing very well. We are exploring all the options and have some decisions to make about medicating or not medicating. It just breaks my heart because Little J is such a smart little boy but his inability to sit still, pay attention and concentrate is getting in his way. Perhaps now his Battle Ax teacher will get off my back about his "disruptive behaviour' while giving me the 'you suck as a parent' hairy eyeball.
Anybody out there with some experience about ADHD???
I leave you with a recent pic {August} of the demon child and the 'damn dog'.
cheers!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Murphy and his minions
I swear, everytime I have plopped my arse down to write a dang post, something has come up and blown that little plan right out of the water.
My loving, supportive *snort* husband must have paid some voo-doo priestess a lot of dinero to get a hex put on me. No really, I'm half believing at this point. I got some bad ju-ju goin on. I fully expect to open a closet or drawer to find a little doll that looks just like me, full of pins. :)
life keeps getting in my way dammit!!!!
I hope ya'll are doing well and I can't wait to get caught up!
In closing, I'd like to thank all the stupid people who make me look smart. Fear not, it's not you..trust me, the people I'm talking are not out surfing Blogs.
My loving, supportive *snort* husband must have paid some voo-doo priestess a lot of dinero to get a hex put on me. No really, I'm half believing at this point. I got some bad ju-ju goin on. I fully expect to open a closet or drawer to find a little doll that looks just like me, full of pins. :)
life keeps getting in my way dammit!!!!
I hope ya'll are doing well and I can't wait to get caught up!
In closing, I'd like to thank all the stupid people who make me look smart. Fear not, it's not you..trust me, the people I'm talking are not out surfing Blogs.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Anybody out there?
Helloooooo? Anyone still around?
I can't believe I've been gone so long. With back to school crazyness, my birthday, my wedding anniversary, Little J starting kindergarten and getting the new truck engine built and in the 'Burbon, life has been pretty hectic.
I am currently in the middle of a 2 day hangover from hell. I got my drink on hot tubbin at girls night at my boss' house. I keep forgetting that I'm 39 not 29 and I don't bounce back as quick as I used to. On the bright side, putting a hot tub soaked pack of smokes in the oven on the lowest setting for 15mins dries them out like new. :)
Little J started kindergarten. It's not going to well. I don't like his teacher and I'm sure she feels the same about me and the kid. I know that he has the attention span of a fruit fly and can't sit still but come on, he's 5 years old! Cranky old battle-ax is what she is. It's going to be a long year. :(
OK honestly, I am more worried than I let on but I'm not convinced I'm not overly paranoid. Ya know? Everyone wants to their child to show in a good light and I'm no different. What if I've messed him up and didn't do enough to prepare him for school?
*sigh* I'll wait a few weeks to see if there is improvement before I I really start to worry.
So hopefully you will see more of me stopping by and commenting on your Blogs and getting back into the swing of things!
I've missed you all. Not in a creepy stalker kinda way but in a "hey I wonder.." kinda way. ;)
cheers!
I can't believe I've been gone so long. With back to school crazyness, my birthday, my wedding anniversary, Little J starting kindergarten and getting the new truck engine built and in the 'Burbon, life has been pretty hectic.
I am currently in the middle of a 2 day hangover from hell. I got my drink on hot tubbin at girls night at my boss' house. I keep forgetting that I'm 39 not 29 and I don't bounce back as quick as I used to. On the bright side, putting a hot tub soaked pack of smokes in the oven on the lowest setting for 15mins dries them out like new. :)
Little J started kindergarten. It's not going to well. I don't like his teacher and I'm sure she feels the same about me and the kid. I know that he has the attention span of a fruit fly and can't sit still but come on, he's 5 years old! Cranky old battle-ax is what she is. It's going to be a long year. :(
OK honestly, I am more worried than I let on but I'm not convinced I'm not overly paranoid. Ya know? Everyone wants to their child to show in a good light and I'm no different. What if I've messed him up and didn't do enough to prepare him for school?
*sigh* I'll wait a few weeks to see if there is improvement before I I really start to worry.
So hopefully you will see more of me stopping by and commenting on your Blogs and getting back into the swing of things!
I've missed you all. Not in a creepy stalker kinda way but in a "hey I wonder.." kinda way. ;)
cheers!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I'm getting too old for this....
Holy crap this Back to School Season is going to kill me. I have been go go go for the last 2 weeks and finally get some downtime.
BTS season and a full moon do not play well together. Yesterday was one of the oddest/most stressful days I have had in a loooong time. A few highlights....
911 had to be called because Customer A blocked in Customer B in the parking lot. Customer B comes back into store and asks Customer A to move his car.{Following so far?} Customer A freaks the hell out and starts cursing and threatening Customer B in the store in front of customers and children. The Po-po come and deal with crazy Customer A.
While the police are finishing up with the above situation a lady at the copy centre passed out and hits the floor. 911 is called back. Not sure what happened exactly but she was carried out on a stretcher.
Network crashes causing all the registers to go down and are unable to use them. You ever tried to tell 100 people that we can't ring through their purchases and no, we don't know how long it will take to get the system back up and running.
And from the rest of the week......
Our local meth addict was in helping himself to hard-drives again and was tackled by security at the front door. He managed to get away but we got his backpack with not only our merchandise but stuff from next door as well.
A child rammed another customer with a shopping cart causing her shoe heel to break and making her ankle bleed.
Someone wanted a particular colour of plastic pencil case which was at the very bottom of the stacked out display. Instead of asking one of us to get it for them, they decided to remove it themselves. Ever played Jenga?? The laws of physics do apply here and the entire display of several hundred pencils boxes went skittering across the floor.
Someone decided to CLIMB IN in one of our bin displays. It being made of cardboard and already overloaded with thousands of erasers, promptly split at the seams and shot erasers all over.
2 kids were 'racing' chairs along the back of the store, one wiped out and crashed into a bookcase breaking it. {and the chair}
This is just a small sampling of the crazy shit that goes down tis time of year.
And people wonder why I twitch???
Is it October yet???
BTS season and a full moon do not play well together. Yesterday was one of the oddest/most stressful days I have had in a loooong time. A few highlights....
911 had to be called because Customer A blocked in Customer B in the parking lot. Customer B comes back into store and asks Customer A to move his car.{Following so far?} Customer A freaks the hell out and starts cursing and threatening Customer B in the store in front of customers and children. The Po-po come and deal with crazy Customer A.
While the police are finishing up with the above situation a lady at the copy centre passed out and hits the floor. 911 is called back. Not sure what happened exactly but she was carried out on a stretcher.
Network crashes causing all the registers to go down and are unable to use them. You ever tried to tell 100 people that we can't ring through their purchases and no, we don't know how long it will take to get the system back up and running.
And from the rest of the week......
Our local meth addict was in helping himself to hard-drives again and was tackled by security at the front door. He managed to get away but we got his backpack with not only our merchandise but stuff from next door as well.
A child rammed another customer with a shopping cart causing her shoe heel to break and making her ankle bleed.
Someone wanted a particular colour of plastic pencil case which was at the very bottom of the stacked out display. Instead of asking one of us to get it for them, they decided to remove it themselves. Ever played Jenga?? The laws of physics do apply here and the entire display of several hundred pencils boxes went skittering across the floor.
Someone decided to CLIMB IN in one of our bin displays. It being made of cardboard and already overloaded with thousands of erasers, promptly split at the seams and shot erasers all over.
2 kids were 'racing' chairs along the back of the store, one wiped out and crashed into a bookcase breaking it. {and the chair}
This is just a small sampling of the crazy shit that goes down tis time of year.
And people wonder why I twitch???
Is it October yet???
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