My child watches too much TV. Or rather, too much inappropriate TV. I figured he was too young to get some the more adult content of some of the shows I watch after 8pm. I was wrong.
Today I am sitting on the couch minding my own business when up comes demon child with a twinkle in his eye. I know I'm getting buttered up for something, most likely for more Halloween candy or a pair of scissors.
He climbs on my lap, gently places his hands on either side of my face, tells me I'm pretty, proceeds to push me down on the couch and give me a loooong kiss on the lips while licking my face. Stunned, I sit up and ask him what the heck he was doing.
demon child: "Mommy I love you and this is how you kiss people you love"
me: "Uh...how do you figure that?" trying to think of where he has seen kissing like that before cause his father sure doesn't kiss me like that in front of the kid
demon child: "I saw it on TV Mommy, they loved each other."
me: "Oh sweetie, that's 2 grown ups! You can't kiss your Mommy like that, I'll get arrested!"
demon child: "What's arrested?"
me: "Nevermind,I'll show you how you can kiss Mommy"
So I proceed to demonstrate an appropriate kiss, with ones lips closed and on the cheek.
After practicing a few, he nods in satisfaction and asks "So now that you've had so many kisses Mommy can I have an Oreo cookie and stay up for another 5mins?" while batting his big blue eyes.
I should start putting away money now for his future therapy.
Dear Big Kid, - The other day I was sitting in my room as you played outside with your brother and some friends, and I heard the booming voice of a man speaking with alarm...
1 week ago