Saturday, March 27, 2010

Dear Crazy People

So there is a gym right beside my work. I drive by it twice a day. It's always packed. It's open when I leave work at 10:30pm and it's open when I get to work at
6am. I will admit to a momentary crazy thought of "Gee, I should get back to the gym" and then I start laughing and end up coughing up a lung.

What kind of crazy people work out at 6am?? How dedicated must one be to drag themselves out of bed so insanely early, punish their bodies for an hour and then put in a full day of work. What kind of drugs are they one? I can barely get through my work day before needing a nap.

Back in the day when I was young and actually had time and energy to care about what I looked liked, I did go to the gym. Several of them in fact.

My first experience was Golds Gym. Full of steroid monkeys and perfect plastic barbie dolls prancing round in teeny tiny spandex with not a glimmer of sweat. I however, wore my brother's sweats, hair in ponytail and no make-up. I sweat like a greased pig. I had no idea people didn't go to the gym to exercise but instead to find their next Friday night hook up. My room mate at the time was very fit and was a certified aerobics instructor and convinced me to take one of her classes. So there I am in a big baggy sweatshirt and my scrawny chicken legs clad in black spandex. Not my best look. I apparently have zero coordination and zero rhythm. I was usually 3 moves behind and looked more like a seizing monkey than a cool chick exercising. So, me not looking like a perfect plastic barbie doll only lasted about 3 weeks before quitting.

My next attempt started out good, Just Ladies Fitness. Nuthin but ladies and it was right beside my work. I could work out and keep an eye on the restaurant at the same time. I convinced another employee to join with me so I had some motivation to go. And yes, we would go at 6am, I was her ride so I HAD to get up and go. Clever of me huh...
I actually enjoyed it for a while but would have been much happier if I could have smoked while riding the exercise bike. (crazy, I know but I've got pretty good cardio for a smoker). I then decided to try circuit training. That my friends, was my downfall. The day I had to follow grandma on the circuit proved that the gym was no place for me. How sad is it that me, a 26 year old, had to adjust the weights DOWN to use a machine after a 70 year old woman. Not only did I have to drop the weight, I could only go half the reps. My self esteem couldn't handle it.

So kudo's to you who manage to go to the gym and workout while normal people are either sleeping or having sex. I applaud and admire your commitment and motivation and I salute you with a smoke in one hand and my 1000 calorie Starbucks Frappe in the other.

But please do me a favour....park around the back so I don't see your car. I don't need the reminder of how much I suck at 6am.

Thank you for your consideration.

1 comment:

  1. LoL Welcome to the non-fit club! I don't work out. The closest thing to exercise I get is chasing the kids (or dogs) down the hall to get my cookies back.