What's that girl? Timmy's in the well again?!

We are looking for a dog. One would assume getting an animal would be an easy thing.
Not so my friends. To acquire a dog in an ethical humane manner, you are forced to jump through hoops and perform tricks.

We refuse to buy from a pet store, out of the newspaper and cannot afford to go to a breeder. We want to 'adopt' from a shelter/SPCA/Rescue.

We're not picky, we know we're looking for a bigger dog. Lab/Retriever/Shepard mixes and mutts are welcome.

We spent the day at a local shelter meeting some of the dogs. Oh it broke my heart to be there. I wanted to take them ALL home. Big, Little, Skittish, Loud, didn't matter. I wanted to rescue them all.

My hubby, whose heart is normally 2 sizes too small has a real soft spot for animals and it is amazing to see him with them. Makes me fall in love with him all over again. {Now if only he could pet me that way..} But I digress....

We found a pure-bred German Shepard named Annie who is just gorgeous! We played and walked her and watched how she interacted with Little J. She would need some obedience training but other than that she was good.

So we get to the 5 page adoption application. Holy Shyte! I cannot believe how much information they want! I don't know the answers to most of the questions!

It was less complicated to walk out of the hospital with our human child.

Scary huh?

Keep your fingers crossed that we find 'our' dog. :)

The Great Hamburger Incident

With kids, you pick your battles. There is just too much the little trouble-makers do that if you harped on everything, you'd have no time to breathe.

The Battle I picked last night was 'Eating what is on your plate'. I do not run a short order kitchen. I do not make 3 different meals. I do try and cook food that at least 2 out of 3 people living in this house will enjoy. Little J decided that he didn't want to eat the hamburger he asked for. Suddenly he was allergic, and the hamburger was too chewy. After listening to Mr. Whiney-Butt complain about his dinner long after his daddy and I were already finished, I decided to bring out the big guns

I got mad and uttered these words

... You will NOT leave the table until you eat all your hamburger!

I had just broken the cardinal rule of parenting. NEVER, EVER, NEVER challenge your child over food. They are stubborn little beasts and no matter how strong you think you are...you WILL lose. I wish I had the will-power of a pre-schooler in a tantrum.


We had tears, we had all out hysterics, we had pleading, we had drama. I moved him into the kitchen, nothing to distract him, no one to talk too. He sat there for HOURS! All he had to do was eat some hamburger and he would be excused. Do you think he did?

Hell No!

He was falling asleep in his chair but still refused to eat.

And then it happened. Mommy caved. Yes folks, the Little Darling won. 3.5hrs of listening to him wore me out. It was bedtime so I excused him and sent him straight to bed.

And what lesson did it teach? That next time he only has to avoid eating the hamburger for 3.75hrs before being excused. Today it's hamburger, tomorrow it will be tattoos and curfews. Some days I suck at this parenting gig. I can only pray that I don't turn him into a psychopathic serial killer. Then I'd really feel like crap.

Friday Night Lights

Geez, Bum-stickers are a hard act to follow huh... anything after that just seems so....ordinary.

The world is going to shit. Last time I checked Google Earth, I was NOT living in Detroit or Compton but somehow I have managed to live in/near Gang Capital of Canada.
This week alone, there have been 9 shootings {5 in one day}. One of these shootings happened right across the street from where I work. {!} I have no issue at all if these scumbag gang phucks want to blow each others brains out but when they start doing it in public places where innocent people are... that's just crazy shit. One of the shootings 2 or 3 weeks ago was the wife of a gang guy..she was shot in the head driving down the street and her 4 year old was in the backseat!!! Thank god the kid was unhurt. What the hell is happening to my city!?!? It makes me afraid to go out with my kid. I don't want to live in fear and I don't want Little J to be afraid either. Maybe now would be a good time to move to the country. Buy some acreage on a lake, open a fishing/guiding business and live off the land. I'd only have to worry about being mistaken for a deer and shot.


I was reading a study today that suggests that optimistic women were 30% less likely to die from disease than optimistic women. Great, so not only am I the Debbie-Downer of the party, now I'm 70% more likely to die sooner and horribly. That is just bloody lovely. I have nothing to look forward too.

I'm very bitter about the fact that I lose a precious hour of sleep Saturday night. Do these people not know that I have to work early Sunday morning and that hour early shit is gonna push the cranky meter waaaaay past 'Bitch' to
'Uber-Flaming-Bitch-from-Hell'.
Watch and learn people, watch and learn.

AAAAAAAAAND... It's going to freakin snow tomorrow. WTF!?! It was a fabulous 10C today with beautiful crisp sunshine. My crocus' are starting to bloom {3 yellow and 2 purple ones coming up}, my cherry tree has little tiny bloom buds and there is various other green stuff growing in my flower bed. And it's going to snow. Yes I tend flower beds. No laughing please. This year I may actually try to grow stuff in my garden, like lettuce, tomatoes, potatoes, sunflower plants etc. Little J loves to dig in the dirt and plants rocks all the time.

Oh.. I just saw a kid on TV about 5 years old sucking on a soother! Yikes.....

TV is the devil. Or at least Tele-toon is. Little J asked what day it was tomorrow. I told him it was Saturday an he replied "Oh good, I can eat candy and watch cartoons all day just like Johnny" WTH? I asked "Who?" and was told "Mommy, Johnny with the talking dog on TV" Hate to break it to ya kid... this is real life,you will not be eating candy and watching TV all day {ok, maybe a little but no candy} you are not animated and Johnny will die of a heart attack from too much junk food and lack of exercise.


Must go and attend to Little J who has suddenly decided that he is 'allergic' to hamburger/rice/corn...everything we are having for supper tonight.

I realize that you have now lost about 5 mins of your life that you will never get back and for that, I sincerely apologize.

From the Mouth of Babes

I love my child but there are times when I wish I had never taught the little buggar to speak.

I went to go pick up Mr. I-Got-All-Dat-And-A-Pack-Of-Gum from daycare today. I am in my usual discombobulated state of mind, thinking about a million things at once and I trip over my kid in the class foyer. Kidlet is fine but my bag goes flying through the air, twisting upside down and everything inside comes crashing to the ground.

We're talking pens, coins, random pieces of gum, receipts, car keys, work keys, granola bar, lighter, today's mail, notepad, McDonalds toy {hey it's a big bag} and worst of all.......tampons. Ya, I said it.. I'll say it again TAMPONS!! {oooh I bet my mom just got a cold shiver down her spine and she can't figure out why..to this day I have never heard her say 'tampon'}

So ya, my life is rolling around on the floor and I am nonchalantly trying to pick up all the odds and ends {keep in mind, there are parents everywhere picking up their kids} and my child, Bless his heart, seeing a tampon rolling across the floor, tries to be a helpful boy for mommy and proceeds to start chasing the escaping tampon across the floor yelling at the top of his lungs..

"Mommy!!! Your Bum-sticker is rolling away! I'll get it for you!!!"


The world stands still, everybody stops, turns and stares...... AT ME!

I'm sure I turned 23 shades of red and fervently wished for a natural disaster to occur..{nothing better to deflect attention than an earthquake right?} It is quiet enough to hear a kid fart in the next room. Through clenched teeth I quietly thanked Little J for being oh-so helpful and encouraged him to hurry up out the door.

I did not look back after the door hit me on the ass on my way out. I don't think I could bear the sight of all the 'cool moms' sniggering behind their perfectly manicured hands.

I hope they go home tonight and have to tell an inquisitive child what a 'bum-sticker' might be. *evil laugh*

Is 4.5yrs too young to drop them off at the curb in the morning??

More Make-over

Finally got a Yellow Snow pic!!

You likey?

Sorry to hit and run...too much to do tonight!

Pissed off Deities

At some point in this life {or as I beginning to suspect..a previous life} I must have really rattled some Deity's cup of tea because Karma is biatch and she's after me.

Remember my 'missing' license.....well it's not so missing anymore.

My darling husband comes up to me and asks me where his favorite Joe Boxer undies are. How would I know? I don't go near his laundry, especially his underwear {I've heard the sounds his arse makes in the bathroom.... I ain't going anywhere near that}
Hubby is convinced that I have purloined his precious pantaloons.

So to humour his cranky-ass, I start rooting through the laundry {I have laundry issues which are a whole other conversation} as I start on the 3rd basket..lo and behold! What should fall onto the floor? My damn license. %^##!!!!

I have spent countless hours on the phone with various government agencies, spent a butt-load of $$ and plenty of sleepness nights worrying about getting my ID in time to fly next month and not to mention worrying about identity theft.Worst of all, it was a pretty damn good picture!!!

And all along, it's been sitting all warm and cozy in my laundry pile{s}.


Somehere out there, some higher being is having a hearty laugh at my expense.


ps..hubby did find his underwear..it was in the wrong drawer. Dork-stick.

People Suck

I generally like people. I really do. Which is probably a good thing seeing as how I work with the public 45hrs a week. But sometimes, people suck. I mean literally suck all the life and joy out of me. Why do some people have to be such assholes?

I try really hard to ensure that you have a pleasant shopping experience in my store.
I do my damnedest to make sure that you get the help you need. In case ya'll hadn't noticed, we are in hard economic times and companies have to cut expenses where they can. We can either cut back on labour or raise our prices..which would you prefer?

I understand that you are in a hurry and need help and when I tell you I have 2 associates on the floor currently with customers and that they will be with you as soon as possible that it's the best I can do? We're not standing there with our thumbs up our asses.. we're running around trying to help everyone. And no, I can't help you this very second, I'm helping the 3 people ahead of you. And no, when I am at the front of the store greeting you I am 'not doing anything'. I am directing customers where to go, providing security, paging associates to where I see the customers are going, answering the customer service phone, monitoring the cashiers, doing cash pick-ups and getting change. I have the password for over-rides at the tills and I have the keys for the high-ticket lockups. I am also dealing with any and all customer issues/concerns, looking up receipts,looking up stock, booking tech work, helping customers in the self-serve copy area and jumping on cash as a backup cashier.

I have a labour budget to meet every week. it's my JOB to meet my targets. Don't you think I'd schedule a shwack-load of people if I could? Cursing me out in front of my staff and customers does not get you better service. And yes, you are the 30th person today to tell me that I should have more staff on. You can call the customer complaint line at 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

To all you holier-than-thou assholes who treat others like shit...you can lick the sweat of my left nut. {well, I really don't have nuts but you get the idea}

Why is it that all you remember at the end of the day is all the shitty people? I had some great customers today, had some fun with them and made them happy. But it's the handful of ass-wipes that ruin your day.

Can you tell I had a crappy day at work? LOL! I really need to stop caring so much.
It's only a job right?


Kiss my Butt!!